My Music Story: The Quitter vs. The Dreamer

Photo by James Wong. Written by Allison Geddie. Follow her on Tw.

It was not too long ago that I remember being a “quitter.”

When I was fourteen I started playing guitar and knew that when I was older I would be a recording artist whose music would touch the lives of millions. I started playing at open mics when I was fifteen and writing songs by sixteen. I became “the girl with the guitar” and was playing for friends and seeing the beautiful impact my songs had on people. It was one of the most rewarding parts of my existence. However, when it came to performing live I couldn’t overcome my nerves. I thought I would never be able to perform without shaking and feeling butterflies in my stomach. The traumatic experience was just too painful. So I quit.

“The quitter” overpowered “the dreamer.”

I went from being inspired, courageous, and full of possibility to having a resigned, fearful, and hopeless mindset. I had given up. You can have both mindsets on any given day. Sometimes one trumps and overpowers the other. I looked at other singer/songwriters and began to compare myself. “They play guitar so much better than me”, “I will never be skinny like them,” “they already have a manager and a CD.” I didn’t realize it then, but comparing myself to others was the worst thing I could possibly do. It was the poison that fed “the quitter.”

Four years went by and I found myself working as a video game editor at MTV, the TV Channel that practically raised me. In my childhood it was flooded with 90’smusic videos like Counting Crows and Nirvana but now it was centered on reality shows and gamers. I went to work every day feeling like a quitter. I wanted to be a part of music so badly that I found myself a job at the one place that used to supply me with passionate music. After creating gamer content for 13 year olds with an Xbox addiction, I questioned what I was contributing to the world. I realized was giving people more ways to hide from their life while at the same time it was away for me to hide from my own destiny.

So I left the video game world and found myself without a job.

It was then that the book “The War of Art” by Stevenpress field was suggested to me and for $11, I changed my life.

This book exemplifies the excuses we make to convince ourselves NOT to fulfill on our purpose. For example, “I’m not good enough”, “I’ll make enough money first”, “I’m too old,” “I might fail.” You know the drill. I realized that I had been listening to the stupid reasons and insecurities that stopped me from making a difference in the world, which was my true purpose. How could I have been so selfish as to hide my music from others?

My music is not for me it is for you!

I dusted off my guitar and knew that I had to record all of the songs I had written when I was younger and put them out there. I said, “I don’t care if five people buy my album, I will make a difference with these songs in someone’s life and that will l make it all worthwhile.” And so I did. I recorded an album, got a band together, and started playing out at clubs in Los Angeles.

Little by little, I overcame my nerves by making it about others and not about me. To date, I have performed at the House of Blues on the Sunset Strip, The Hotel Café, and even opened up for the Blue Öyster Cult in front of seven thousand people. Not bad for a “quitter” with stage fright don’t you think?

The beautiful thing is I have impacted a lot more than five people with my music and I continue to be fulfilled by the incredible messages I receive on the Internet from fans. I may not be topping the charts, but I can actually say that my album has changed lives. To have overcome my own obstacles is my accomplishment and my success. To this day, I continue to overcome the challenges of “the quitter” because it sure is reasonable and very convincing. But outrageously and in the face of the fears, “the dreamer” just doesn’t want to quit.

With love,

Allison

About Allison Geddie:

Allison’s stunning presence and musical ability is garnering her an ever-growing fan base, which isn’t surprising; serious music fans know a good thing when they hear it. With melodies sometimes delicate and haunting, sometimes raw and unbridled, her lyrics hint at life’s deeper, darker truths – truths that invoke in listeners a powerful and palpable sense of connection, inspiration, and belonging.

Check out her music on her website! AllisonGeddie.com