I believe in connections between two people. Me and my boyfriend are so connected that if one of us is off, we’re both off.
I have this crazy, wicked thing with my best friend where I can tell if she’s happy or sad, if she’s emotionally open or closed. I can feel it even if she’s across the Atlantic.
Connections can be more easily established with some than others, but by making contact with someone you turn a connection ‘on’. Everything you do to invest in the other person, making them feel safe and loved, will further strengthen the connection. Falling in love is like infusing that connection with an electric power chord. It becomes a more important and meaningful bond; you give it an overdose of intimacy and affection, consequently the connection between you and your partner becomes stronger in less time.
Connecting with another person is one of the most beautiful things in our lives. And whereas a big part of creating, strengthening and deepening this connection is a two-man job, I have found two strategies to make a connection deeper, fix an (underlying) issue in a relationship, or simply to improve the current connection, all on your own.
I’d be the first to say that actual telepathic communication is probably not going to happen between me and Jimmy. I’d never rule it out completely, simply because there are processes both in the brain and the outside world I don’t know anything about, but up until this point Jimmy never called me up after with the ten items on the grocery list I just telepathically faxed him. However, the strategy still works. Here’s what I do:
These strategies may not actually open up a telepathic dialogue, but it can be so good for you and your relationship to send the other person things like this. For one thing, you open up to them mentally and emotionally; by creating that openness it becomes easier to communicate in person. Also, you may start solving issues you have that come from within and if there is anything I’ve learnt thus far is that if you can solve things inside yourself, you can solve everything outside yourself. If you start the telepathic (or if you prefer the more sceptical term: imaginary) dialogue, you begin to figure out out how you feel, what you want, how to express yourself. Whether it gets to the other person or not, you create better, deeper connections from the inside out.
I don’t really go with God, I go with Gut. Whatever my gut tells me, is usually very on point (not to mention crucial). I try to use this with every area in my life, but I have found it incredibly beneficial when it comes to my relationships as well. It’s a pretty simply strategy, really.
First (this is probably the hardest): I have to calm the fuck down. I am very human, ruled by my emotions, terrified of not being loved. Things like that can throw my intuition for loop where I basically reason from my fear and negative emotions. I need to be still before I can trust my instincts. So, I take a few deep breaths and focus on my inside. Usually that calms me down.
Now, I can do two things. One, I can just be quiet and listen to whatever comes up. The upside is that I get a lot of answers. The downside is that I don’t always know what the question was, so where to apply it can become a little too much of connect-the-dots. The other, more directed strategy is to keep a specific question in mind. Such as:
And then, you just observe what happens in your head. Thoughts, feelings, images, sudden urges to do something. They’re clues, and they could be very useful. If you’re forgetful and easily distracted like I am: write that shit down. Seriously. It can make the difference between knowing something and using what you know. Whatever you’ve found, however surprising or deceivingly simply, think about it. Try to implement it. See if it’s right. Trust your gut.
By doing this, I often figured out things. Allowing more freedom between me and Jimmy, showing Jimmy more affection, sharing more of my thoughts with Jimmy, taking Jimmy on an adventure. So far, none of the things I learnt from this technique made things worse, only better.
Whether you believe in the mechanisms behind them, these techniques can still work for you. You not only can experience a great deal of inner peace and trust in yourself when you do this you also start thinking in answers and solutions instead of ruminating on questions and problems You become an active, improvement-oriented person and your relationships will surely benefit.
I’m curious to find out about your thoughts, feelings and experiences on these subjects. Therefore, I’m sending you a big-ass question mark, and of course, a whole lot of love and light.
Take care, love,